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“Do you want your toast cut into squares or triangles?”

Grandson. “Triangles please”.

Triangles not only play an important part in a child’s diet but are necessary steps to a child’s development when a two party relationship is opened up by a third party into a new form of a relationship. The child gains new mental abilities

But triangles can be destructive

When one person manipulates a third person to engineer rivalry against someone they’re conflicted with, it escalates the conflict and resolution becomes less likely.

The role of a relationship therapist is to create a safe environment, to join the conflicted couple and maintain a respectful connection with each. By forming a neutral position, the therapist can facilitate a process with each, enabling each to hear and understand the other - a therapeutic triangle. Resolution becomes possible.

If the therapist joins either partner against the other - ‘triangulation’, the division deepens.

I’ll been blessed by the integrity of both Jewish and Palestinian friends who’ve said repeatedly to me, “We don’t want you to hate the other. Hear their story also. We want to live in peace with them”.

My hope is that through my next book, by highlighting the key stories and suffering of both sides it will promote a greater understanding of the key issues - a therapeutic triangle.

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